Why TANGO?
09/28/2011 - By Ilona Glinarsky Argentine Tango, often called The Dance of Love and Life, has the power to pin you to the present moment like no other dance will, open your heart to another while you both gracefully move as ONE, while writing a new story one step at a time...
“How loudly must you to speak in order to be heard? “, I pose this question to my beginner Tango class as I slowly look around the studio, scanning the faces of my students. The room is quiet, except for the faint sweet sounds of Di Sarli playing softly in the background. They seem a bit puzzled by my question.
I pause and look at Marcus, a tall handsome man who is a well-established yoga instructor by day. He smiles with his eyes and nods at me, as if letting me know he is aware of where I am going with my question… His dance partner, a lovely petite woman in her late twenties, admits she is helplessly falling in love with Argentine Tango. Next to her a successful real estate attorney, Nora claims that Tango is the only place in her life where she doesn’t have to take charge, where she can just turn off her brain, relinquish control and let go of everything. “I enjoy the fact that I am not the one making decisions and taking full responsibility, I can simply relax into my feminine and allow my partner to guide me. What a great, nearly forgotten feeling!”
“…In this dance,“ I continue now looking directly at the men in my class, “you speak with your body, even more importantly, with your heart. Your heart speaks much louder then any words… When leading your partner, all you need is to whisper. Every message, every queue you convey has to be subtle yet clear, quiet yet potent. When you tone your lead down, you partner has to tune in deeper and listen more intently. This is the way of Argentine Tango - LESS IS MORE!” The room is silent.
Just to lighten things up a bit, I add...“Remember, you are not driving a truck gentleman, you are now driving a Ferrari.” Now I see big smiles all over the room. Ladies happily agree with my statement. I turn to them, “Now, if you want to be driven like a Ferrari, I look at the followers, you better tune into the driver and be able to respond without hesitation, anticipation or assumptions. Just relax, get out of your head and allow the leaders to do their job. Enjoy the most wonderful ride!”
Most people think of Argentine Tango as an old-world dance, passionate and dramatic, yet choreographed and rehearsed like any ballroom dance. Few know that Tango is actually a social dance that is based in improvisation. It utilizing some of the “basic” patterns and concepts, which later serve as building blocks in creating a dance that is never the same. I often explain Tango by saying that it is a lot like learning the alphabet and then creating poetry in the moment, on the spot. This is what makes Argentine Tango spontaneous, creative and challenging, yet deeply rewarding and fulfilling.
I discovered social dance almost 15 years ago, right after my marriage of 13 years had come to a bitter end, followed by a loss of my mother who lost her battle to liver cancer at the age of 56. I was in my early 30s when I faced the toughest transition of my life. Feeling very lost, depressed and misplaced, I stumbled upon local community dance classes hoping to fill the emptiness I was feeling. Looking back, this was the best move I had ever made, as that one single decision became the turning point that changed my life forever. First I fell in love with Salsa, a fun street partner dance that made me reconnect with life, with love, my own sensuality while helping me create a new extended family, diverse, eclectic, and all-embracing (quite a departure from my own Soviet Jewish family I was born into).
Dancing Salsa was like playing with other kids in a sandbox. It was intoxicating, fun and a bit obsessive. It set me free from the daily grind, from my own inhibitions, my responsibilities and obligations that were hanging above my head like a guillotine. When I danced I forgot that anything exists beyond the present moment. It was truly magical!
Then, one day Tango found me. It gently tantalized me when I dared to peak into studio Z at 3rd Street Dance studio, while walking down the hallway to yet another Salsa class. With the corner of my eye I would see couples in a peaceful, intimate embrace floating through the dance , as if in a sweet dream. Nostalgic sounds of old Tangos, dominated by violins and bandoneon, wooing me back to home to my roots (The music of Old Russia had a lot in common with music from Argentina).
Finally, I broke down and signed up for my first Argentine Tango class taught by a true dance veteran, the owner of the dance studio Perri Rogovin. Little did I know that my life, once again, will change in ways I never expected.
Discovering Tango was a lot like discovering myself in a deeper, more intimate way. This dance, unlike Salsa, was not about impressing others, showing off or competing with anyone, it was all about an internal connection with yourself and your partner. It wasn’t so much about fancy footsteps and patterns (those merely represent the outer layer), but about creating a heart-to-heart connection with another person, often a total stranger, and making that dance feel like it is most meaningful experience ever. In this dance two people give each other the most precious gift of FULL PRESENCE; listening to each other, caring for one another, communicating in ways they may have never communicated before. It is as if a safe space has been created to practice their relationships skills, building from the ground up…
As the students slowly leave the studio and I am finally packing up my iPod, stripping off my heals and replacing them with my old, warn out yet deliciously comfy Uggs, I can’t help but ponder… what it would be like if I could truly relinquish control and fully relax into the arm of the Spirit, my ultimate Tango partner? What if I could just close my eyes and completely entrust myself into this Devine embrace, allowing myself to be guided step by step into the most graceful dance of all, the Dance of Life? I wonder why this seems to be the hardest thing to do? The word that comes to mind is TRUST. That’s a big word worth meditating on. I also wonder if practicing trust may be a bit like practicing Tango my steps. After all, it is said - practice makes perfect.